Hell or High Water: Appointment with My Self

I had to make an appointment with my Self, the “come hell or high water” type.

And now I’m finally here with my Self―BITCHOK (butt in the chair, hands on keyboard), an acronym I’ve borrowed many times from young adult author Cassandra Clare.

There’s no way to fool the true Self, but wow did I fool myself it had only been a couple of months since my last blog post!?! I told my Selves (I know you know what I mean) that today was the day, come hell or high water, that I would write.

There’s a funny thing about intention when it’s addressed to the true Self. The Self ain’t playing. It remembers and wants that specific appointment kept, no matter how long it takes. Meditating, exercising and contemplating life over a cup of Darjeeling and a handful of dark cherries isn’t the same.

I had to make an appointment with my Self, the “come hell or high water” type. And now I’m finally here with my Self―BITCHOK (butt in the chair, hands on keyboard), an acronym I’ve borrowed many times from young adult author Cassandra Clare https://www.cassandraclare.com/writing-advice/. There’s no way to fool the true Self, but wow did I fool myself it had only been a couple of months since my last blog post!?! I told my Selves (I know you know what I mean) that today was the day, come hell or high water, that I would write. There’s a funny thing about intention when it’s addressed to the true Self. The Self ain’t playing. It remembers and wants that specific appointment kept, no matter how long it takes. Meditating, exercising and contemplating life over a cup of Darjeeling and a handful of dark cherries isn’t the same.
Darjeeling and Dark Cherries

In this case, my specific appointment with my Self was to write for this blog. Posting on Instagram or Facebook wasn’t sufficient. Those posts weren’t the deal we made. This is the deal.

Then my Self let me know she wanted more. My Self wants me to write to a letter to herSelf. Or is it that my Self wants to write a letter to me? Of course, I know the answer, since I am me after all. There shall be letters―to me, to others, from characters. I saw this letter thing in my mind’s eye grow like mushrooms build in cartoons or anime. Today’s will be short.

Dear Tanya,

Thank you for keeping our appointment, no hell or high water required.

I know you’ve been busy. I see the deer-in-the-headlights look in your eyes, posture and aura. I hear it in your thoughts, your voice, your dreams.

Go easy on yourself. Relax. It’s all okay. If you don’t get something done in a day, so what? Your dreams won’t suddenly vanish. Think of this appointment with me as a first step toward the advancement of those dreams.

Love,

Your Self

I Thank Winter and Welcome Spring

[I quite recently wrote this prose and read it for a Unity service. Spring ― I’m ready! Bring it!]

Budding Branches
I Thank Winter and Welcome Spring

The cold and bare limbs of the trees wave in the chill wind as if whispering goodbye to Winter.

Stark fingers of branches jab at me, demanding, Look! Look inside! Take an honest view into the Self.

What must I see before I may embrace the forthcoming of Spring?

What thing shall I release so that I may behold the joyful bounty of this earthly life, to witness its beauty, its love expressed in vivid greens and rainbows of flowers?

Does an errant thought hood my eyes? How I long to bathe in Spring’s splendor! What obstruction must I change or let go?

What tiny pebble rides inside my shoe?

What thought twinges within my belly?

What hurt calls from my heart?

Surely and gladly, I

Shake out that pebble

Cast out that thought

And forgive the hurt.

I free myself to accept the full embrace of the Divine presence on this beautiful earth.

I open myself as a clear channel for this Infinite Love

to co-create and share the boundless spectrums of Spring

through gentle thoughts, kind words and expressions of gratitude

with my sisters, my brothers, with this world.

I know the bare branches waving in the breeze of Spring.

Now I see their budding leaves

And revel in the perfume of their blossoms.

I thank Winter and welcome Spring.

Check out the video to see the reading of I Thank Winter and Welcome Spring as well as the the entire talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD3RzftunwI